.Friday, June 26, 2009 Y
I've decided to come up with this post as i think i shld know your answer by now. sorry you wil sure say i'm not confident enuf.Yes i'm not.In fact totally i've no confidence tt u gonna return like b4. All i left is the memories of you.
Want to reborn your hair for you,want to go hols with you,want to cont to be the one to bring u to where you've not been b4.
Went to cut hair as u've complain abt my hair. Yes i've cut it =) walk from bugis to our Laodifang. Everywhere is you. how scared i am to turn rounds and rounds but cant find the direction to our laodifang. =((
how we started our 3yrs at the bus stop when we first saw each other,how we have our first meal @ newton.(maybe that is the time i'm destined to bring u eat around) how we first went to fountain of wealth.how i she bu de you leave me tat night.
how you hold my arm during our first date,how we went to stadium,How we eat our wanton mee,how you brought me to national library,how we laminate our neoprint arnd tt area,how i follow u to popular,how wil i disturb you when we walk past the dark road whenever we walk from bugis to suntec before the overhead bridge.When ever we climb that overhead bridge you wil always say to me "dear 我很累" make me always holding ur hand tight and climb up. how u first brought me to try out the korean food,how we hold hand & walk to our lao di fang always.how you spent my 18 bdae with me,how we always walk arnd without any directions.how you wil always look forward to for my bookout date,how we wil always spent our sats & sun tgt, til i ORD started work, How u pei me go around interview,how i got 81 job,how you wake me up every morning,how you iron my clothes,how u sent me off to bus stop & take bus,how i she bu de you every morning.how we sat @ east coast,how i sing your fav zhao chuan song to you,how u always lie on my shoulder,how you always tear infront of me,how we cycle from one end to another,how we always look forward to meet each other.
how you complain to me you u hungry ....and i always bring u eat...
All these no longer in your mind..........................
This is the place where our tears,laughter,memories wil be kept & bury.how you nod your head saying you're coming back.
Our most memorable 30mins was once in one of the cabin
Wil u stil go with me =(
All along i ignore your plea for me to treat u better. I'm sorry. now you've find your love i can only do nth but let go. When you are outside with him and frens i realised i'm all alone.....i'm the one tt let u down. I'm e one tt did not treasure you......as u say....u dont love me anymore...how u left tt night.....wil always be in my mind.
If no miracles happen,by e time u read this post.This is what you wil be hoping for.
我真的好累.....
All i live with is regrets....
just like walking to the end of this road.........
your silly boy.........
written on 9:30 PM
.Tuesday, June 23, 2009 Y
I hope this decision of mine will be worthwhile.
What i promise u i'll do k? =)
written on 3:39 PM
.Saturday, June 20, 2009 Y
I'm in pain once more.
Everything was just a dream Yesterday
I'm stil the same.
written on 8:13 AM
.Friday, June 19, 2009 Y
Hate to say this.but everything ends here. Your words just keep circulating around my mind.My heart is really dead.
who can i turn to....Pls take me to somewhere where i can be alone...
this love is difficult but its real.
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中 不听话的 就停止了
就让我的心慢慢死去吧.......
written on 7:51 AM
.Thursday, June 18, 2009 Y
what do i need?? why am i so scared of you now.?
written on 10:42 PM
. Y
Back home. she dont let me cont to pei her. but to meet later =) she see my wan slp wan slp yet stil pei her she wil heartpain i guess.HAHA.i so thick skin. =X
just now we so funny.walking at ps then keep criticise about other couples.keep say if he like that or she like tat sure quarrel de.HAHA.den we luff at our own comments.RETARD! hao kaixin. long time never laugh til like that le..oh ya! she's super heartless too can.thats how we chat jus now
xuan :boy,will u take me to sentosa tomolo since u're off
me: why sentosa? sentosa got what? dont tell me u wan go underwater agn lo.
xuan: u want bring me go ma? ni zhui teng wo de dui ma? "bian zhui"
me: *nods*
SEE SEE?!?!?! she's so evil! she know my weakpoint!!! TMD!! DIE DIE DIE!!!
xuan: boy,i want take ferris wheel...
me: dont want.wo pa gao...
xuan: ni bu teng de wo.if u teng wo u wont lie to me
me: !!! why leh? what i lie??
xuan: u flying elephant got wings how can scared of height.u can fly leh
me: =.= burst into laughter.!
xuan: u also must bring me to k-box with ur fren
me: why.its man's NIGHT leh
xuan: change to OUR night then *laughter
me: LL -.-
why i nvr lost to someone in ding zhui y wil i only lost to you. tmd. u watch out ah! lol... si xiao bu dian. LOL!!
okok ciao.gng slp le. later gonna fetch her back.and prepare for tml's trip to ferris wheel and sentosa!!! =D shall blog if i can tonight..
*yes.finally i'm being awaken by sms yet agn its you. but..=)
written on 3:02 PM
. Y
Just reach home after BTT. hee. as usual lo. but dont know why press press also wil heartpain.
after BTT xuan wait 4 me at the bustop.cab home. =) ask u dont so early wake up le. bu hui ting de.. but i appreciates it. thank you. But now she's complaining say i keep dont wan go cong liang. -.- as i say. singapor lang cannot praise one.she's evil! say my bed small somemore?! tmd. and now she's so engrossed abt my room.keep see here see there. -.-
hao la hao la.say small change a big one for u kae? keep bian zhui. see le aso xin tong. dont keep use this word lo "ni zhui teng wo de dui ma" i tell you.. mei you yong de lo..HAHA..ying wei wo hui forever teng ni le =) hope this is the new start for me. no one will understand the pain i've gone thru this few days. bt i can really feel i'm so happy cause i really know how to treasure things.hao le i go cong liang. pple noisy liao.. keep say hungry.
blog agn @ night. tata ~
written on 10:09 AM
.Wednesday, June 17, 2009 Y
i think i have really put down everything liao. yes i cant deny that i stil hope she'll come back but she have alr made a decision. my life wil stil needs to goes on
but she has alr change my life. My life may be lonely from now. But its a lesson learnt. If i happen to have someone in my life again. i'll never repeat the mistake agn. I think i shall not bother her life already. its nth i can do to make her happy.
AIMSON u can de =)
All i can do now is to spent time outside.Decided to go for a walk whenever i'm free
focus on my career maybe go for some course bah earn more $$ jus to gif my next her more happiness.
AIMSON wil always rise from diff kind of hardship! =D =D
alright back to work..tata~
AIMSON Will be the real aimson from now on =)
ps: i cant deny i still love you,i wil miss u. no girl can replace you. what i've promise u i wil do it =) my only thing. maybe the nxt time u see me or what. its what u wish for. you're right i should change for myself =)
written on 8:00 PM
. Y
Yeap. its another day. Mom bought food yet i dont wish to eat. i know by dng dis i'll collapsed soon and i'm scared yet i'm making myself do this.
i know life will never be the same. she thinks she's getting sweet love now. and i know you are. but you know better then me.
will never go to any places to eat like fish & co. cause only you'll like to eat.
yup.. life is boring...
gng K-box with xiaofei soon.Sorry ah bro,i know u dont sing.but just want to vent out.i've always wanted to go de..even she ask me to go i aso reject.sorry lo.drag u pei me to hell listen me sing. HAHA!
written on 3:55 PM
. Y
Back home. Yet hungry. but still..cant make myself to eat.
Past 12hrs on shift every min has been hell to me.
Sorry rahman. I shldnt have lie to you.cause i know if i dont lie to you. you wont agree to my decision. Sorry. I can see the disappointment in your eyes cuz i know since i join u've always wanted to groom me to become a AM.Sorry. My goal is no longer there. Sorry i cant meet your expectation. And sorry Eric for not replying u just now while on cab cuz i'm trying hard to control my tears. Cant blive i actually tears thru out the journey.
Sorry mama. I know this few days when u open the door u always hear me crying under the blanket yet u keep quiet and close the door back quietly just not to make me feel paiseh. but i know it. sorry. bu shi gu yi brk ur heart once agn. as u say ur son is useless.since young i am always letting u to worry abt me.studies even now my personal life. dui bu qi.
Sorry daddy. for not having breakfast with you. Every morning u sms me i said no. everyday i reach home jus to wait til ur car has left then i can come up. Just dont want u to see my swollen eyes.dui bu qi. ur er zi really useless. wo zhen de fang bu xia.
Tml is my BTT test.wil be taking bus 51 but no matter whether i pass or fail.only get to know the truth that she will no longer be seating outside sharing my joy and sadness. I've got no one to whine to anymore. all i left is myself.No matter i pass or fail i'll talk to u secretly inside my heart.
I've taken a day off for tomolo. Just hope to go to those places that i went wit her. i'm afraid sooner or later i wil not have anymore courage to step out of this hse anymore.b4 i could forget everything i wish to rmb it 1st.
i've been tearing once almost every 3-4hrs. wo zhen de shou bu liao le. why i know very clearly she wont be coming back yet the more i understand the more sad i am? everyone has been telling me "just forget her she's so heartless and can change heart jus within days" the more pain i feel. cuz i stil blive she's not like this!! why.......do u all know the more u all say my heart bleeds more?
How i wish i could be blind. so i wont be able to see the place and her image always appearing infront of me. i know she's very happy without me. i've aso decided not to bother her anymore. cuz i know i wont be able to see her anymore even if she wish to see me. cuz i no longer have e courage to see her. i dont wish her to see the pathetic look i'm now.i know she wont bother abt coming here to see how i am. cuz she has really forget.
Lastly, Mom really sorry. i really cant forget her. i can only tear alone while u'll are not around. i cant even hear her voice cuz i know i cant control anymore. all these years of pain..is still continuing.. thanks those that care for me. really thanks.i can only cry til make myself slp day by day. people say loving someone alone is no diff from being a zombie. Yes i am.
i love you deeply.......and stil loving you.......u said u would come to see me.i doubt u'll.u wont eva have time for me. u wont be appearing infront of me anymore. By reading your 06 entries makes me feel even worst..have u read back those entries??? have u?? everyday just hope i'll get awaken by my hp. cause i know it wil be you. but it wil no longer be that case. i will not no longer smile secretly to myself. no longer wil be seeing your backview.
written on 7:36 AM
. Y
i suppose this is the 3rd day? Things happen tat fast. til i cant even blive myself.
i'm alr dont know what to say.i also dont wish to say what has happen.Those that know wish to comment no matter is good or bad can do as.my tag board is just beside.
but all i can say. its my fault.Pple keep telling me "aimson forget la,she so heartless alr" but no one knows the exact story. Its me who caused her being what you pple say heartless..
But have to act tough infront of dad,mom & sis. Plus RC collegues.but lucky i stil have my own room to make me myself. its hard.but thats all i can do now. i'll be blogging more often. as she always say i did not blog.now i've plenty of times but cause of her i've been myself yet agn. Frens keep asking me "eat smth la,dont eat later she come back u die how" but really cant eat jiu shi cant eat ma. eating while tearing u pple try lo. see food eat few mouth feel like vomitting.Today mom cook my fav. but i eat few piece i stop.sorry mom,seeing ur face so sad aft i stop eating i'm sorry. amazing thing is i cant even finish a fillet-o-fish. haha
i wont change a single thing in this blog. no one wil ever change. Its been like that and wil always be like that. I know you pple must be laughing at me. when she's gone then u come and complain.Ya..i shld not even think of that plan.
Leave is coming and i'm gng on a short trip probably myself ba. This trip is actually with her. as hotel already booked before things happen so have to go.
yup thanks everyone for being so caring when i'm down this few days and RC pple for making me happy always trying to joke around and make me get involves in your conversation.but that wil only make me more sad. but anyway thanks pple!
i'm just getting & feeling what i deserved.she've gone thru all these for 3yrs. But me merely 3 days. My pain wil never be compared to hers.
Just hope she will be happy from now on. think she will. she's the girl i saw 3yrs back again. memories will be kept. Like how we share one psp playing bursting out in laughter. Lastly GOD, pls tc of her for me. If anything were to fall on her.pls fall on me. As she've been praying for me this way before.Its my turn to take over her. shall blog once i reach home after work tomolo again...tata..
written on 1:21 AM
